We, as parents through adoption have often waited for a long time for our precious child and want to do right by him or her when they arrive. Some of us reading every book on attachment and primal wounds, readying to “fix” any problem that comes our way. Almost a self-regimen of “what to […]
Category: Blogs Parenting
Missing My Son’s Birth Mother
When I counsel people who are adopting, I talk with them about the importance of developing a good relationship with a prospective birth mother. In my mind this is the key to a successful adoption: One where the child may have the opportunity to know his birth mother—either growing up or later on in life. […]
Back to School and Fitting In
Watching all the commercials for going back to school specials on clothes, shoes and electronics is bringing back a lot of memories, including trips to the mall and specialty shops and negotiations on what was appropriate school attire. With my girls 23 and 27 years of age, I no longer do the August shop around. […]
Send Me Back to My Birthmom
“I want to leave this stupid family. Send me back to my birthmom.” My ten-year-old threw that statement out last week when I told her that I wouldn’t make pancakes for breakfast. I knew she would be getting a doughnut later in the morning, so I made eggs and fruit to prevent a sugar overload. […]
I Always Thought My Child Would Look Like Me
I have heard this from countless adoptive parents. I thought it myself when I was younger. Funny thing is adopted children do “look like you.” Not necessarily with the same eye, hair or skin tones, but once they are nurtured by you, they will absorb your language intonations and mannerisms. Ok, not the same, but […]
The “Flesh Colored” Crayon
One day while my daughter and I were coloring, she held up a pale peach crayon and asked what color it was. It was a seemingly simple question. My gut response was “flesh colored,” as that was what my parents and teachers had always called it. I started to say, “That’s because it’s the […]
Sometimes Adoption is Tough
I’m John M. Simmons and I love real-life adoption. Of course I cherish the rainbow and unicorn moments, but that’s just what they are; moments. My wife and I had three biological sons before we turned to adoption to add to our family. That has culminated in adding six more children to our brood (I […]