We, as parents through adoption have often waited for a long time for our precious child and want to do right by him or her when they arrive. Some of us reading every book on attachment and primal wounds, readying to “fix” any problem that comes our way. Almost a self-regimen of “what to […]
Category: Parenting
Parenting is one of the most comprehensive and important roles a person can assume. You become responsible for a child’s physical and emotional needs, academic, religious, social and recreational exposures, and their overall well being and happiness. You will introduce them to the extended family, teach them how to be a friend and a community member, and, over time, how to care for themselves and become independent. You will need to rearrange your schedule to include your child’s needs and interests in everyday planning. You will share your skills, hobbies and interests, and learn new ones as your child pursues those that interest him or her. The joys and challenges of parenting change over time as the relationship builds over a lifetime.
Missing My Son’s Birth Mother
When I counsel people who are adopting, I talk with them about the importance of developing a good relationship with a prospective birth mother. In my mind this is the key to a successful adoption: One where the child may have the opportunity to know his birth mother—either growing up or later on in life. […]
Back to School and Fitting In
Watching all the commercials for going back to school specials on clothes, shoes and electronics is bringing back a lot of memories, including trips to the mall and specialty shops and negotiations on what was appropriate school attire. With my girls 23 and 27 years of age, I no longer do the August shop around. […]
Send Me Back to My Birthmom
“I want to leave this stupid family. Send me back to my birthmom.” My ten-year-old threw that statement out last week when I told her that I wouldn’t make pancakes for breakfast. I knew she would be getting a doughnut later in the morning, so I made eggs and fruit to prevent a sugar overload. […]
Helping Children Welcome a New Sibling
Bringing a new baby home is most fun for the children who are waiting. Too young to yet understand a newborn’s limitations, the siblings are anxious to get down on the floor with him and wrestle or play trucks. But a new baby does little more than eat, sleep and poop. How can you prepare […]
I Always Thought My Child Would Look Like Me
I have heard this from countless adoptive parents. I thought it myself when I was younger. Funny thing is adopted children do “look like you.” Not necessarily with the same eye, hair or skin tones, but once they are nurtured by you, they will absorb your language intonations and mannerisms. Ok, not the same, but […]
The “Flesh Colored” Crayon
One day while my daughter and I were coloring, she held up a pale peach crayon and asked what color it was. It was a seemingly simple question. My gut response was “flesh colored,” as that was what my parents and teachers had always called it. I started to say, “That’s because it’s the […]
Sometimes Adoption is Tough
I’m John M. Simmons and I love real-life adoption. Of course I cherish the rainbow and unicorn moments, but that’s just what they are; moments. My wife and I had three biological sons before we turned to adoption to add to our family. That has culminated in adding six more children to our brood (I […]
What to Know About Disciplining Young Children
When does discipline actually start? And what exactly is discipline anyway? It sure gets a bad rap. Parents who do too much of it are called names as are those who do too little. Where is a happy medium? What is it parents should be shooting for? Webster’s dictionary defines discipline as training that corrects, […]
Summer Safety Reminders for Kids
With summer in full swing, it is a good time to review some simple safety tips. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, these categories are the most important to consider. Be aware that when your children are visiting another family, they may have different attitudes and levels of supervision from yours. A conversation before […]