In Part 1, we identified three areas to consider before you started the adoption process. By examining the type of child you hoped to adopt, the amount of background information you wanted or were comfortable receiving, and identifying any limitations on travel for the adoption, you choose your path to parenthood or to enlarging your family.
In Part 2, we will look at several other factors that may affect your adoption options as you proceed.
AGE
By the time individuals or couples turn to adoption, most have spent time pursuing a biological child, including fertility treatments. The years have progressed and you are probably in your late 30’s or upper 40’s. Some of you may even be in your 50’s. How does your age impact on your adoption options and choices?
In the majority of domestic adoption, the birth mother will choose the adopting parent(s). If she has no problem with your age, the adoption can move forward. However, in domestic adoption, some agencies put a cut off on an adoptive parent’s age, usually at 40. Why? If the agency is showing your profile to a birth mother and you are competing with younger singles and couples, the agency may feel your chances of being selected are low. While it may not seem so to you, they are actually doing you a favor by not taking you on as a client when there is little chance of success. You can ask the agency if you found your own birth mother, would they provide the needed services. Most agencies will agree to do so.
In international adoption, each country (and domestic agency) has age guidelines and restrictions. Many keep the age difference between the child and youngest parent at 40 years. This does not mean you cannot adopt, just that depending on your age, you would be referred an older child.
MARITAL STATUS
Singles and couples can adopt. Domestic adoption has no limitations, although marital stability must be evident. There are stricter regulations in international adoption. Some countries require marriage or marriages of several years duration, and some limit adoptions to individuals with multiple divorces.
MEDICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC ILLNESS
Where current or a history of medical or psychiatric illness exists, the adopting parent will need to provide evidence of current stability. This would require a letter from the treating physician. Some countries will not allow individuals with specific medical or psychiatric conditions, including the taking of psychiatric medications, to adopt.
HISTORY OF ARREST
If there is a history or arrest, whether or not you were convicted of the crime, the adopting parent will need to provide a disposition of arrest and an explanation of the circumstances. If a DUI or DWI, proof of rehabilitation (i.e. classes, treatment, etc.) will be needed, as well. Some countries will not allow anyone with an arrest history to adopt.
HISTORY OF CHILD ABUSE OR NEGLECT
If ever charged as the perpetrator of child abuse, depending on the result of the child abuse clearance, you may not be able to adopt, either domestically or internationally.
HISTORY OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SEXUAL OR CHILD ABUSE
If you were the victim of any of the above, you will need to discuss the circumstances and any rehabilitation received. Current emotional stability is necessary to proceed with an adoption. Some international countries will not allow individuals to adopt with such a history.
RELIGION
Individuals of all religions adopt. However, if adopting an older child who is already observant, an adoptive parent needs to be flexible in allowing the child to continue observing his or her religion. Some domestic agencies and international programs prefer families of a specific religion.
INCOME
Families of all income levels adopt. Domestically, those with very limited resources should look at adopting from foster care. Other individuals can pursue a private adoption. To adopt internationally, a family must show an income 125% over the Poverty Level for at least 3 years.
CONCLUSION
Singles and couples can adopt domestically and internationally. However, they must meet guidelines for age, marital status, medical, criminal and child abuse histories, as well as other requirements for a particular type of adoption process.
It is important that all areas included in Part 1 and 2 of this article are discussed with any adoption agency or attorney before the adoption process is started. These areas will also be discussed with the social worker who does the Adoption Homestudy.
Knowing the limitations of options, and honesty from the start will eliminate unexpected delays and barriers to an adoption.
Click for more from Adoption.NET Executive Writer Kathy Brodsky