Mothers are mothers. They worry about their kids eating the right food, getting enough sleep and treating others with kindness. They tend to be overprotective and ask too many questions. They feel they know what is right and too often share their unsolicited opinions with their children.
What about mothers who don’t have that option? Who live far away or don’t even know where their children are. Who made a decision years ago to do the best they could for their child. Who trusted another mother or father to provide for them.
And what about the children who have two mothers? Who only get to wish one of them Happy Mother’s Day. Who wonder where the other one is or how to send a message to them. How do we help these children celebrate?
Many years ago, I heard about people “sending messages into the universe.” These messages, tied to balloons (like messages in a bottle), somehow were to reach the intended recipient. The message could say anything. For the adopted child it could be a message of yearning, of missing someone or even anger at not being able to deliver the message personally. The important thing is for the children to be able to express themselves.
Mother’s Day is a perfect time to talk to your child about adoption. Raising the issue will not cause problems or make the child feel one way or another. For those who are already thinking about their birthmothers, it will be reaffirming for them to know it is okay to express those thoughts. For the day to day parent, it will be reassuring for your child to know they can talk to you about their adoption, as well as for you to know what they are thinking.
For those who do not know, Birthmother’s Day is celebrated the day before Mother’s Day. Take advantage of these two days to talk about adoption and the mothers that by nature and/or nurture have shaped a growing child.
Click for more from Adoption.NET Executive Writer Kathy Brodsky