Birthmother’s Day is celebrated the Saturday before Mother’s Day, symbolizing the order of the maternal relationships in adoption. Created by a group of birth mothers in Seattle, Washington in 1990, it provides a day of observance and reflection.
While mothers are publicly recognized through the year and celebrated on Mother’s Day, for most birthmothers, their identification was fleeting, often followed by years of silence and invisibility.
Over the years, adoptions have become more open. Some birthmothers have reconnected with their children and their adoptive families but many remain removed from their children and their lives. But for most, the questions remain. Where are their children? How are they? Are they happy and successful? Do they know they are adopted? Do they think of me?
More and more communities hold Birthmother’s Day events and gatherings that provide a safe space to share stories and receive support. Pain, grief, loss, separation and emotional survival are expressed. Mothers (by birth and adoption) are able to openly recognize both of their maternal roles. It also allows for an acknowledgement of one woman making it possible for another to know and experience parenthood.
Birthmother’s Day also offers an opportunity for adoptive families to talk about adoption and their child’s connection to another family. Such discussions do not diminish the current mother-child bond. Indeed it can strengthen that bond by discussing what it means to be a mother.
By birth or by adoption, all mothers are important in a child’s being—in their nature and nurture—in who they are and in who they will become.
So join in the celebration of Birthmother’s Day and all the birthmothers who have given us the chance to make our dreams come true.
Click for more from Adoption.NET Executive Writer Kathy Brodsky