Bob and Brenna

We don’t know how you feel or what you are going through, but when we think of you, we are filled with love and gratitude. We care about you and your baby.

We have always wanted more children. We have one son, Becket (who we also call Kit), and have had several miscarriages (including twins). Although it has been hard to realize that we cannot have more children, it has caused us to grow closer as a couple. Your child would be important in our family and would complete our family. Your baby is precious and we will take good care of him or her.

Your baby will also get lots of love from us as parents. Our house is full of hugs and affection. We have jobs that let us provide for our family, but also prioritize family time. Your child will have his or her own room and lots of toys! We live on a farm, so playing outside is really fun, from the treehouse, to the playset to the garden. We have lots of family around us in our warm, extended family.

Your baby can expect an excited older brother who loves babies. Beckett asks us about a brother or sister quite a bit. His cousins all have siblings and he loves playing with them. He is careful when he plays with his baby cousin and is always looking out for her. He holds her hand when she walks near the street to make sure she stays on the sidewalk. He would be a good big brother.

We would like to have a relationship with you. What that looks like is up to you. Your child would grow up always knowing about you. Since we don’t know you yet, we don’t know what this will be like, but we would welcome getting to know you and visits. Brenna has a friend who was adopted and was able to visit her birth mother every summer and stay in touch and it was a good relationship for everyone. Your child will always know about you and your choice.

We don’t know you yet, but we think you are strong and we admire you for considering adoption for your baby. Your baby will always know your love just as he or she would know ours.

Our story began when we met at a law school alumni event. After getting to know each other, we started dating, even though Bob lived in New York and Brenna lived in Iowa. Soon, Bob packed up a U-Haul and drove to Iowa for good.

We love each other and are kind to each other. We put our marriage first and make time for date nights and together time as a couple.

We love each other and our son, Becket, and we love your baby already. Our marriage made our lives full and made each of us a more complete person. At the same time, we knew we wanted children and would have the love for them that we have for each other.

We work as a team to take care of each other and keep our home a good place to live for each of us. When Brenna has a trial in court, Bob and Kit help her to have the time to prepare. When Bob has extra work during the legislative session, Brenna and Kit take care of things until he gets home. We are proud and glad of each other’s work.

And when a challenge comes to us, we are very fortunate to face it as a strong couple. The difficulties we have worked on together have made us even more grateful to have each other.

We love and are thankful for our son Becket. Having him in our lives and our home fulfills us as a family. Our life with him has shown us that we like being parents and are good parents. It also shows us how special it would be to have more children. Your baby would be treasured by us.

Brothers and sisters are the best! Bob has a brother and Brenna has a brother and two sisters. We could not imagine life without them. Brothers or sister relationships are important and have shaped who we are as people, even as adults. They are always here for us and we are there for them. We want our children to have those same relationships.

We have tried for several years to have another pregnancy, without success. That brings us to adoption, and writing about ourselves to you. We are also excited about getting to meet you because we wouldn’t have met except for adoption. We would like to get to know you so that we can tell your baby all about you.

Brenna is my hero, the person I love and admire most of everyone I’ve known. She is strong, smart, and wise. She is deeply committed to what is right, and to doing what’s right herself. I value her judgment, her practical understanding of how things work, and her way of working with people, even people who are difficult. She is determined, but at the same time patient and kind. These qualities have been at the forefront of her work in public service, in a variety of jobs. They also make her a terrific wife, and a wonderful mom. She loves and cares for our son Kit with all her heart, and all her kindness and intelligence. She will love and care for your baby just the same way.

Bob is special. He has a great smile and good sense of humor. He is loyal and loving. He has a career and works hard, but he always puts our relationship and family first. Bob is passionate about doing the right thing. He takes good care of me and our family.

Bob might not mention this, but he has authored two books. He is an excellent writer and knows about all kinds of subjects, from ancient history to architecture. He loves to read books with Becket and help him learn about the world around him.

Bob is a good dad. He is affectionate and protective. He reads bedtime stories with all kinds of exciting voices. Bob is also the kind of dad who really enjoys doing things with kids. They bond over doing something together, whether it is building a snowman or constructing a birdhouse.

Bob treats me well. I think it is important for kids to see that in a family. Whether he brings me flowers or takes out the trash when it isn’t his turn, he shows us how much he cares. He is loving and dependable.

We live on a farm in the country on several acres . We are in a valley surrounded by hills, trees, cows and farms. Our home has two levels with a big, open living room and deck where we spend a lot of time. Our living room is full of toys and we spend time there together as a family playing or watching movies.

Your child will have his or her own bedroom and lots of toys. We have tons of storybooks and we read three or four every night before bed.

Outside, we have a garden, treehouse, greenhouse and play equipment. We even have a kid’s fireman pole. It is a big yard, several acres, with lots of room. We also have room should your child want to raise animals like horses, cows or chickens. Our neighborhood is very safe with good neighbors. Our property has a pond for fishing and lots of room for hiking. We have a big driveway with room to ride bikes and play with toys. Your child could drive a tricycle or electric car. Bob built a big sandbox and in the summer we have a kiddie pool and sprinklers. We love to barbeque and have a picnic table outside and a fire pit for s’mores.

Our home is close to a small town that we visit often with a park, restaurants, a hometown grocery and hardware stores, and our church. Some of our relatives live there too. Only half an hour away is Des Moines, which is the capital of Iowa. Des Moines has a zoo, parks, a weekly farmers’ market in the summer, and lots of other things to see and do; also a full range of stores and services like any big city.

Brenna grew up on a farm in Iowa. Her dad and brother are farmers, so we have a lot of extended family here. Your child’s aunts, uncles and cousins live close by. We get together for dinner and for holidays. In the summer we barbeque together and play outside. Sometimes we get a piñata and fill it with candy and toys and the cousins take turns trying to break it open wearing a blindfold. They love to play together and have lots of fun.

Bob’s family is from New York. We go out to see Grandma and Papa several times a year or they come visit us. They are proud and glad to be grandparents, and are so excited to meet your baby. The New York cousins ski and would love to teach a cousin to ski and snowboard. Your baby would be treasured by our extended family. We also go to their lake house on the Finger Lakes where we can sail a sunfish sailboat or swim off the dock.

Our friends and family are there for us and we are there for them. Your baby will have a lot of friendly cousins, plus aunts and uncles and grandparents, living within a few miles of us. They enjoy visiting with us, sharing dinner, having parties in the park, and playing with children. They will love your baby.

We love to go on trips and vacations. We travel to Washington state and New York state to visit family. We also take a family vacation every summer. Since Iowa doesn’t have mountains, we go on a road trip together. We had fun in Yellowstone, and in the Big Horn mountains in Wyoming. Last summer, we had a great adventure in Montana in a cabin on a ranch. We love hiking and spending time together. We plan to travel internationally when our family is older.

During the year, we go to places here in Iowa. We go to county fairs or rodeos. We like to hike and fish. We plant a garden and harvest it.

We have game nights with homemade pizza at home. We like to cook as a family and have supper together. One of our favorite meals is tacos with homemade tortillas.

Our faith is important to us; we go to church every week. Every night before we tuck our son in, we say our prayers and pray for people. We teach kindness and forgiveness in our family. We try to make a difference in our community and help people.

Caring for our son Kit, and for each other, is our number one priority, and we enjoy mornings together getting ready for each working day. We both have busy days at work and are glad to return home, pick up Kit at daycare, and share dinner, conversation about what happened during our day, a bath for Kit, stories, and bedtime. Sometimes we will meet family or friends for dinner. Every few weeks we enjoy a date night.

Weekends are family time. Kit likes to get up first and wake us up, and decide what to do next. We catch up on housework, spend some time on a project or two, and play outside. Kit likes to do whatever we are doing, but also loves his toy trucks and railroad set. On Sunday we go to church together. Often someone will join us for a family dinner on Saturday or Sunday evening.

Our relationship with you will be based on what you want. We also understand that things can change over time as your life changes. It depends on what you want, but our relationship can be everything from updates and pictures to phone calls/video calls to visits.

We want the relationship that is best for you and your child. Knowing you and who you are is good for your child and will help them to understand who they are. Your child will always know about you and the brave decision you made for them. Your baby will know that you chose the best family for him or her. We would like for your baby to know you as much as you want. It is your choice.

Our first thoughts of you are with gratitude, and respect, and admiration. Bringing a child into the world is not easy; it is a courageous thing, and a gift of love to your child. We are so grateful for this.

And, if it is your choice, we are next grateful for your decision to entrust your child to our love and care, as adoptive parents.

We also want your baby to grow up with gratitude, respect, and admiration for you. Which means knowing you, and getting to know you, in all the ways that work best for you. We will work with you to figure that out, keeping in mind that your love for your child and ours will be a bond between us.

– Fourth of July parade with parade floats, candy, emergency vehicles, and farm equipment, followed by the town festival

– sometimes we are even in small town festival parades

– annual trip to pumpkin farm in October, with cider, donuts, and a tractor ride too

– big family dinners at Christmas and Easter, and Thanksgiving turkey at our house

– birthday parties! (In the town park, if the weather is good)

– once a year, a big family trip, for example to Yellowstone National Park, or a cabin on a lake in Montana.

– going to church every week

– we go to New York at least once a year so see Bob’s extended family and spend time at their lake house.

We both really care about making the world a better place. Bob works advising senators on issues facing our state. We both think that our world is better when people try to make it better for everyone. One person can make a difference.

You can say that we are both passionate about helping people. That is part of the reason we became lawyers. Sometimes lawyers can help people in ways no one else can. Also, we became lawyers because it was a good fit for our talents and gifts. We would love to help your baby, as he or she grows up, to find their own special talents and place in the world.

We value diversity and respect all races and faiths. We work to foster that respect for every person as a family. We want to be sure your child knows their roots and has a good sense of who they are. Your child’s background will become part of our family background too. We will plan trips and activities that embrace that background and help him or her to understand where they come from.

Our small-town area has Hispanic diversity, but for greater diversity, Iowa’s biggest city is just a half hour away. We will work to connect to all of the resources that will help your child know who they are and feel part of the community.

Brenna has lived in California, Chicago, Virginia and Washington, DC before coming back home to Iowa. Bob has lived in Chicago, Massachusetts and New York. In every place we have had friends and neighbors of many different backgrounds, racial origins and ethnicities. We appreciate the distinctive, varied contributions they make to our communities. We are grateful for the things they have helped us learn — good things from their own cultures, but even more importantly how to value differences without making them into walls between people.

We will love your child, and a part of our love is to value the distinctive background he or she will bring to our family and our community. We commit to nurturing your child in every way, including his or her diverse heritage.

We know that, as Mom and Dad, we are our child’s most influential teachers in every part of life that goes on outside the classroom. That is one of our most important jobs. Education is important, and we also want learning to be fun! As a family, we read books together. We practice numbers and the sounds letters make with Becket. We bring Becket with us for social and community events so he can learn how we engage with other people. We also involve him in our activities around the home, which helps teach him responsibility and practical skills that will help him grow into an independent person.

Every year we put savings into a college savings account for Becket so that we can afford to pay for college, should he choose to go. We will do the same for your child. We want our children to have good choices about where to go for school and be able to go to the school that is the best fit for them.

As parents, we talk about the best education options for Becket. We plan to enroll him in a private Catholic Montessori school next year. The Montessori school approach is hands-on and lets a child learn at his own pace. We like this because we think it helps him develop as an independent person, learn to love learning and also grow in his own way. The teachers at the school are great, and it has a faith focus as well, so he learns good values.

We both had the chance to go to college and then on to law school. We want the same opportunities for our children, whatever they choose for their careers!

Our faith is important to us and guides our actions. We go to church every week and will teach your child about faith. Your child will join us on our special projects in our community, like gathering food that is needed for the food pantry or helping an elderly person with their yardwork. We love to do those things together as a family.

We say grace before supper and pray together every night at bedtime. We read books together about the importance of kindness and forgiveness. Your child’s crib will have artwork next to it of Jesus cuddling a baby lamb, called the “Good Shepherd” as a reminder of God’s love. Your child will grow up knowing about God’s love for them.

We believe that God brings you and us together for the most important reason, to love and care for your child. This belief comes to us from our Christian and Catholic faith. That faith, with the other good things in our lives, we will joyfully share with your child.

Through our faith, we trust that God intends good things for us, and means for us to use our abilities, our resources, and our understanding to do good things. That purpose has its most central expression in the life of our family, caring for each other and our children. We will show, and teach, these beliefs to your child too, in the confidence that they are at the heart of a person’s preparation for living in the world as an independent, responsible, strong and faithful adult.

Your baby will learn how to do all kinds of outdoor activities. In the spring, summer and fall we bike on the miles of trails near rivers, woods and prairie. We have a baby seat on the back of Bob’s bike that is like a car seat and a baby helmet. After biking, we love to go to a small town ice cream shop for a treat or lunch. We go for hikes around our acreage in the country and in local parks. We have a baby hiking carrier so that everyone can come and enjoy the hike.

Our family likes to build things, so whether it is fixing something in the house or on the farm or building birdhouses, we do it together. Our latest project is fixing up the treehouse together.

We love to go to local rodeos and fairs in the summer.

Both of us love to read. We enjoy reading books as a family.

We love music. We have dance parties in our kitchen after supper sometimes. We go to outdoor concerts together. We go to the symphony and will take your child when he or she is old enough to enjoy it.

Hobbies Together:

Hiking — in woods and mountains, in our nearby state parks and in national parks in the mountain West. Closer to home, walks in the pasture behind our house.

Bicycling — there are great bike trails nearby on the former railroad lines that have been paved for cycling. Becket likes to bring his bike for the beginning, and then ride in a seat behind Dad.

Gardening — we have flowers in front of the house, and a vegetable garden that grows a little of a lot of things in the summer, so there are some fresh vegetables in season. We are also planting some fruit trees and hardwood trees in the back and front yards. In the summer we eat food from our garden.

Cooking — Brenna is a really good cook, Bob is learning from her, and Becket is a far more promising student. The kitchen is a fun place on a winter afternoon. From March through November we also love firing up the grill to cook meat and vegetables.

Music and concerts — we like all kinds of music, on the radio or recordings. We dance in the kitchen to fun songs, and Becket likes to sing and conduct the orchestra sometimes. As the children get older we will also take them to the concerts we enjoy.

Building projects — a fun part of keeping the property up is designing and building small projects. We replaced the old front deck in 2019, and last spring built a big wooden sandbox for Becket, where he has room for his Tonka trucks, and big piles and deep holes. Last fall we built some birdhouses out of old barn boards. We will soon be done with the new maple floor we installed in the main level of the house.

BOB

Creative writing — although it is a part of my work, I’ve also done some writing in my spare time. A few years ago I wrote a novel (unfortunately not optioned for a movie version). Now I prepare draft speeches and informal remarks for legislators. Occasionally I do public speaking myself.

Reading — all kinds of books. And in the evening Brenna and I read Becket stories and we like to make the characters come alive with different voices. I almost have “The Gruffalo” memorized.

Fireplace fires — there is a good store of oak wood in the northern part of our pasture, and I take dead trees and limbs and section them up for firewood. In the winter we enjoy having fires in the living room fireplace. I am teaching Becket how to be safe with fires.

Hunting — When I lived in New York, I went duck and goose hunting with friends. Now, in Iowa, I am learning how to hunt deer; there are too many of them here for their own good. Last year I was successful and we had summer sausage made from venison. We all liked it, and Becket loves it. He wants to go hunting with me when he is old enough.

BRENNA

Travel- I love to travel and see new places. Now that Bob and I have a son, we travel within the United States, but before then we traveled more. Before Bob and I found each other I traveled internationally often. For example, I traveled across Siberia (so that I could practice my Russian and see the sights) for several weeks. I have also been to places like South Korea, Turkey, Italy, Ecuador and Guatemala. We plan that when our family is older, we can take international trips together so they can experience other countries and cultures.

Cooking- I love to try new recipes. I love to make homemade food, like tamales, or pizza. This is something I also like to do with Becket because he enjoys it too and it is good for him to know how to make healthy food.

Biking, Walks, Yoga, Jogging- As a busy mom, I don’t always have enough time to do everything I want to do for exercise, but I like to go on walks or bicycle. I also work in yoga and jogging when I can.

Family- Before we got married and had a family, we had more time to go to concerts, go on trips and all of the things that people without kids have time to do. Now that we are parents, I have found that I really enjoy the “kid stuff”. I like teaching Becket letter sounds and helping him sound out words. We do kids science experiments together. I love seeing the world through the eyes of a four year old and watching him grow.

We promise that we will be good parents for your baby. No matter what happens, we will take good care of your child. We will always remember you and pray for you.

Adoption is heroic and your baby will always know that you are a hero. Your baby will always know about you and what you are like. Your baby will know how much you love him or her. We promise that we will stay connected to you as much as you choose.

Parenting isn’t easy, sometimes it is hard, but we love it and we love our family. Whether it is choosing the best school or helping your child learn about the world around him or her, we will always look out for what is best.

We will welcome your child into our family completely, with all our hearts, and with all the care, respect, and love that we have for each other. We will provide him or her with the kind of home and family that you want. It will be loving, secure, healthy and safe, with all the opportunity for learning and growth that we can offer. We will share with your child our good fortune, as well as the tests and challenges we will face together as a family.

We will prepare your child for life in the world, and to meet all its difficulties and opportunities with the resources of intelligence, judgment, and good character.

We will tell your child everything about you that you share with us, and especially how generous your love is for your child that you gave the most important gift anyone can, the gift of life itself.