Foster Parent vs. Adopting

 

Foster Care:

• Foster care happens when a child welfare worker confirms that a child is living in a neglectful or abusive environment or their biological family or primary caregivers are unable to care for them and they need to be temporarily or permanently removed from their living situation and placed in a foster environment. This can happen sometimes if the biological parent or caregiver becomes ill, dies, or makes a sudden departure, such as incarceration.

 

• The minor may be made a ward of the state, or court. The placement of the child is usually arranged through the government or a social service agency, and they will decide whether the child is placed in an institution, group home, or private home.

 

• Often someone in the child’s immediate environment, like a relative or a teacher, will step in to parent them, but many others are placed with foster families or in a facility or group home, either waiting for adoption, a reunion with their biological family, or until they reach the age of 18.

 

• Foster parents are given monthly stipends by the government to cover the expenses of raising the children that are placed in their care.

 

Adoption:

• Adoption happens when a person is granted legal and permanent parental custody of a child along with all rights, responsibilities, and filiation. The adoptive parents take on all responsibilities of raising the child.

 

• Adoptions can occur between family members, or strangers. Adoptions happen privately or through public adoption agencies, adoption attorneys, or through an adoption facilitator.

 

• International and domestic adoptions are both common.

 

• Today, most private domestic adoptions are usually deemed open, when the birth parent(s) want to maintain some degree of communication or get updates on the adopted child; or closed. Most international adoptions, there will be no contact with the birth family of the child.

 

• According to a 2010-11 Adoptive Families Cost and Timing Survey, adoption costs vary, anywhere between $30,000 to $50,000 dollars or more, which may include home study fees, travel expenses in cases of international adoption, or living expenses and health care for the birth mother of the adopted child.

 

Fostering Challenges:

• Foster care may not be a permanent solution. Foster parents have to prepare themselves to relinquish the foster child when the caseworker has finished making arrangements to reunite them with their primary caregivers or biological parents. Although, in some cases, a foster parent will be awarded legal parental custody of a foster child, otherwise known as ‘foster to adoption.’

 

• Child Welfare statistics tell us that on average, half the children placed in foster care are reunited with their parents or caregivers, and 46% of those were reunited in less than a year. This may be difficult emotionally for a foster parent, because of the bond that they’ve formed with the child.

 

• Also many foster care children come with emotional, and sometimes physical evidence from abuse and neglect. According to Child Welfare statistics, there were 684,649 children confirmed to have been neglected or maltreated in the U.S. in 2012. A foster parent has to be ready to love a child that may not know how to recognize love or who may test boundaries, disrupt the household harmony with tantrums, or demonstrate other stressful behaviors.

 

Adoption Challenges:

• Adoption can be a lengthy process; anywhere from 6 months to several years is the standard wait time for a domestic private adoption, but sometimes it can take longer.

 

• There is a loss at the time of the adoption placement, and adoptive parents may share the grief of the birth mother.

 

• Some prospective adoptive parents may not meet the eligibility requirements for domestic or international adoption.

 

• Countries may close their adoption programs, eliminating options, and there is no one factor that will guarantee being selected by a birth mother.

 

• Adoptive parents take an emotional chance when deciding to adopt. There is no guarantee that the birth mother won’t change her mind about adoption during the pregnancy or within the time frame determined by the state to relinquish parental rights.

 

• Parents of adopted children often face parenting challenges, mixed reactions from their family and friends, and have to prepare for other inevitable difficult discussions.

 

The joys of parenthood, whether biological, adoptive, or foster, always outweighs the risks and challenges. The rewards of raising and loving a child are apparent in every parenting victory, every smile, every laugh, and every precious moment.

 

Not considering being a foster parent? Want to learn more about adoption? Or international adoption?